


Stalemate

by igi_pigi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Sexual Content, just one scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-14 04:11:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14127792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/igi_pigi/pseuds/igi_pigi
Summary: "It appears we're at a stalemate, Miss Foster." He meets her eyes at last with his bloodshot ones. "My association with you will continue to doom you with mortal dangers at every turn. And you will continue to inexplicably not hold me blameworthy for it."(Alternatively, how it should have been instead of how it was in Thor3.)[Well after Thor2.]





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how love making managed to worm its way into this angsty story, but here we are.

No, no, no! Not this dreaded dream again!

His morbid dreams have gotten so vivid and so rampant that he recognizes a clear pattern of them now. The monstrous fire burning Asgard to the ground, him being chained and thrown in the dungeons, or him being chained and beaten to death in front of his people. Or him being burned with the flames. Death, misery, chaos! And he can do absolutely nothing to avert it.

Thor shakes his head, trying to coerce himself back to consciousness. Reliving these excruciating nightmares every other night is really starting to wear him out now. As he ineffectively tries to move his arms, he feels a sudden surge of power charging through him.

At that moment, his eyes snap open, revealing a horrified Jane sitting beside him, voice caught in her throat and hand outstretched but understandably not touching him. He looks down at himself and sees lightning emitting out of his hands and arms.

"Get away from me!" He warns, trying to sit up. Jane does as told, wordlessly getting off the bed as quickly. "Get out of here. Go!"

She runs out of the room. Thor gets up and off the bed to go to the balcony, to get himself out in the open before he can even attempt to control this sudden overflow of his powers. But with the shooting pain rippling through his entire body, he can only get past the bed when he collapses on the floor.

Not finding the strength to get up, he stays on all fours and reluctantly attempts to curb the thunder emitting from his hands. Jane peers from behind the door, watching the room lit up with blinding whiteness.

After several minutes of trying, decorated with painful whimpers, he finally gets it to stop. He has no faith in himself to keep this contained. But is too exhausted to think of something to do about it. So he simply lowers his head and allows himself to loosen up a bit.

"Thor?" Jane's panic-stricken voice breaks the silence.

"Don't come near me." He cautions her immediately. But despite his words, he can hear her taking uncertain steps towards him. "No Jane, no." He repeats himself, facing her way now, but unable to meet her eyes. How horrific must've all this been for her! "Stay away from me."

"It's okay." She tries, still slowly stepping forward, though her trembling voice gives away her confidence.

"No, it's not." He says desperately as she kneels beside him. He knows what she is doing. But for once he'd wish she wasn't so selfless when it came to him. "No. Don't..."

But then she raises her hand to touch him. "I said get away from me!" He screams, meeting her eyes at last.

She flinches, shocked at his uncharacteristic display. But neither moves forward nor backs away - she stays frozen, helplessly looking at him, blinking hard, determined to not let the tears show.

Thor closes his eyes, furious at himself, and hangs his head low once again. He wants to apologise, but doesn't in the hope that at least his anger might keep her away. Knowing her, he knows it would not.

She waits for a beat, then again hesitantly reaches to touch his hand that is splayed flat on the floor. His heart beats louder and louder as her trembling hand gets closer to his. What if he loses control again, what if he hurts her? Doesn't Jane realise this?

His whole body goes tense at her first touch. She, however, appears relieved, and moves to carefully cover his palm with hers - as much as her tiny palm can.

"It's okay." She whispers. "It's alright. You're fine. Relax." She moves her free hand to place it on his bare back, still careful, and rubs it lightly.

Thor shuts his eyes and clenches his jaw. He doesn't think he can 'relax' as long as she is in the perilous proximity of his untrustworthy powers.

He feels her take her hand off his, and place it on his cheek instead, to get him to turn his head a little and look her way. He jolts again at the touch, but opens his eyes and speaks before she can. "You shouldn't be touching me. This isn't in my control."

"Just try and calm down, alright?" She pats his cheek with a small smile. "Let go. Relax."

He wants to interject again but before he can, she moves closer and wraps him in a hug, resting her head on his shoulder as opposed to the usual hiding her face in his chest. Surprised and wanting to jerk her away, he instantly leans into her instead. Her touch is so balming to his bruised and hurting self, and he loathes himself for finding comfort in her when he should be doing something to keep her safe from himself.

Thor brings a shaking hand up and very carefully places it on her back, letting out a breath when there isn't lightning at the contact. He brings up his other hand too and pulls her closer. Jane feels encouraged as well, snaking her arm better around his neck and rubbing his back with her other.

She kisses his shoulder, neck and then his cheek. He leans in closer, breathing her hair and holding her tighter. But when she gets close to his lips, she halts, hesitant. He freezes too. She better not be doing what he thinks she is doing.

But she does precisely that. She goes in for the kiss. He backs away, breaking the hug a little. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" She looks a bit embarrassed.

"No, Jane." He shakes his head. "We shouldn't do this. What if--"

"It'll take your mind off it."

He knows this. But he also knows that he'll be at his most vulnerable to lose control if they go forward. He cannot risk it.

"Jane." He pleads.

She smiles, stroking his hair, then pushes upwards to capture his lips with her own. He stills at first, closing his eyes and letting her kiss him. She is hesitant too, perhaps thinking he'll just shove her away, considering his volatile outburst before.

Despite his conscience screaming at him to back away, he kisses her back. And just when he does, she breaks away - only a little - a teasing smile on her lips. Thor blinks, as if unaware of her teasing, and leans in himself. She moves away some more, a giggle escaping her. He tries again, she defies him once more, and he snaps! He grasps her hair in his fist, stilling her in place. Jane gasps, then whimpers when he twists his wrist to bring her closer.

But he doesn't go in this time, perhaps angry at himself for yet another violent move, perhaps waiting for her to shove him away for it. She doesn't, tries to get closer instead, failing against his painful grip.

He relents, and crushes their mouths together. He releases her hair, and pulls her in closer, going from being on his knees to sit back instead. She climbs to sit in his lap, arms around his neck and opening her mouth for him.

He pushes his tongue in, raw animalistic instinct taking over, and hating himself for it. He does say "no", "this isn't right" and "we should not" in between, but his desperate actions don't quite match his words - not even letting her take her camisole off, sliding it off her arms and bunching it at her waist in his haste. And pushing his trousers down and her very short shorts to the side just as much as is needed to get inside her, ramming in without warning. His eyes shut close and she gasps, a little too loud, panting already.

They both still to look at each other, Jane just a tiny bit taller in his lap. He looks up at her, eyes pleading. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I know." She smiles.

"We shouldn't be doing this."

"You're fine."

She waits for a moment, searching his eyes, before closing in the distance between them with a wet kiss. As they meet each other's thrusts, she places a hand on his chest, slowly pushing him flat on his back. He lies down, letting her take over. Though his eyes are still fixated on his hands on her sides, expecting blue thunder there any moment - instead of looking at his Queen.

She seems to sense his distraction as she guides his hands to her breasts and he doesn't think that's such a good idea, but complies anyway, knowing how much pleasure she finds in it.

He wants her closer, even though he can't deny the exquisite view. Eventually, she does collapse on him, her head dropping on his shoulder when her arms give out as the wave takes over. Her moans fill the room. And she takes him down with her, making him hide his face in the crook of her neck as well.

Thor didn't think he could go over the edge with so much clouding his head. But is thankful of it nonetheless. He kisses her sweaty forehead, and with him still inside her, they lie on the floor in silence. He feels the ripples in his body and her breathing getting even. Jane tilts her head up once she gets ahold of herself. "What're you thinking about?"

"How stubborn you are."

"It worked." She grins.

"What?"

"Nothing." She clears her throat. "I just thought it'd be something along the lines of 'you feel so good, Jane!' "

Despite himself, he chuckles. Then taps his fingers on her arm where they're holding it. "Come on." He urges her to get off him. She groans, pushing herself up unwillingly. She will always want him to stay inside her as long as possible. He doesn't quite understand it, but does find it endearing.

As soon as she pulls her camisole up and back in place - rather teasingly - and finally slides off him, he pulls his trousers up and tilts his head towards the bed on his right.

"Now, on the bed."

Her eyes widen with playful surprise.

"To sleep." He clarifies.

"And you?" Jane asks on instinct, even though he didn't mention that he wouldn't join her there.

"I... I think I should sleep here for the night." He tries to say it casually. "It's quite comfortable."

"Why?" She asks with genuine surprise.

"So that what happened before doesn't happen again!" Thor cannot believe he has to spell it for her.

She purses her lips, offended. Then moves to grab a pillow to put it beside him on the floor for herself.

"No Jane, please." He tries to hold her hand. "I'm begging you!"

"Look, Mister," she snaps, "it may not be a big deal for the likes of you. But seeing someone I love go through that was deeply upsetting to me. And I'd like to at least have an arm to hold on to for the night. Not everything is about you, you know."

He stares at her, surprise and hint of anger marking his features. She is still sneering at him. He thinks for a moment, then grabs the pillow out of her hand.

"Thank you." She says giddily, happy to have coerced him to her will. Though she is surprised to see him toss it beside him, then getting his own pillow off the bed as well. "W-- we can still use the bed if we want."

"Well, I don't want to." Thor returns her tone, then gestures towards the bed in question. "But you are most welcome."

She blinks, and he can see just how much his actions this night have gotten to her. But of course she again covers it up with a smile and moves to lie beside him on the cold floor. He sighs, getting the blanket over her before lying down and offering his arm to her.

Jane smiles again, all adrenaline wearing out now, and hugs it with both arms, resting her head on his shoulder.

Even in her tired state, she still asks if he wants to talk about the nightmare. He politely declines, saying they can talk in the morning. He wants to believe he did it to spare her the horror of his dream, but perhaps he wants to spare himself.

He can feel her falling asleep and fast, and he almost wants to keep her awake so he would not have to be alone with his thoughts. But his acts of utter selfishness, violence and general troubling her by being so difficult this single night really have him humbled to go ahead. He glances at Mjolnir where it hangs off the clothes hanger, then screws his eyes shut, hoping to not think about anything.

Because there is nothing to think about that he hasn't numerous times before. These dreams aren't new. He knows they are warning him of something dreadful to come. Father has dismissed them as unimportant and 'foolish'. He wants to search about them himself, but cannot leave Jane behind. He cannot take her with him either. So he is simply left to live out these nightmares every alternate night on his own, with the supposed belief that all the pain he is enduring is for nothing.

However, he is flustered at how his powers fell out of his control tonight. A sudden influx of energy charging through him like that - he doesn't remember this happening before. Was this some sort of indication too? It was quite minacious if so. He could have hurt Jane. He really, really could have injured her tonight.

And yet, he is still here, shamelessly lying beside her - instead of leaving her some moments of peace from his dangerous antics. She is kind enough to not abandon him and run away for her safety, even trying to help him the best she can. But he should know better. He should be far away from her, so no dangers could seek her.

His selfishness flummoxes himself!

Perhaps what happened tonight was a sign for this. That he really should detach himself from her life, or he'll end up getting her in grave perils as well. He never wanted it to come to this. He promised himself to never let it come to this. But maybe he just didn't know better.

_"I believe that fate brought us together..."_

Thor takes a shaky breath, remembering his own words with remorse. He glances down at Jane. She is in deep sleep, hugging his arm tight. Then scrunches her nose, drawing a smile out of him. Always so kind, forgiving, loving. She truly has the most beautiful soul. And she saved him. She deserves all the happiness in the 9 realms.

And he is sucking that out of her finite mortal life like a disease. He needs to get away from her as soon as he can.

But how?

His eyes instinctively flick towards the window. No, no, he cannot just abandon her like that! What is he thinking! She _deserves_ to know. But he can't quite 'discuss' it with her either. She will never admit that he is the cause of all her safety concerns right now. And if he still goes ahead with his proposal... He doesn't want to picture her response.

Thor sighs. It's hard to concentrate with all the blood rushed out of his brain, but he forces himself to go through their plans in the coming days, hoping to find a way there. Well, he is going to meet the Avengers tomorrow. Coulsen wants them to look into some intel. Jane has a celebratory ball to be a part of a day later. She had aided greatly in the establishment's researches, and is quite excited to be a part of their celebration. Though he doesn't remember what it is for.

They'd decided to go together if he gets back in time, or him joining her there otherwise. Maybe he can use this?

He has to drop it on her sometime. Once she gets through the initial shock of it, he is hopeful that she will surely understand his reasoning. And his subsequent absence will allow her to think clearly, free of his influence. Then when they meet at the event, they can talk about it. This should work.

And worse comes to worst, she will be completely unreasonable, refusing to entertain any of his arguments. If it really does come to that, he can simply leave without words then, as she'll know why he walked out, even though she may not agree.

It will be hard and painful. It will break his heart to do it. And he doesn't think he can do it at all. But he will have to do it, for her. He has to protect her. If her hatred is the price, so be it.

Thor is jolted out of his thoughts when he feels Jane release his arm to push herself a bit away from him. She turns - still facing him - to lie on her chest, her folded arms the barrier between it and the floor.

That's good, he thinks. She'll have to get used to not having his arms around her. He turns on his side, raising his hand to stroke her cheek, then stops himself. He too needs to get in this habit, he reminds himself. Though he can surely look at her all he wants, commit her beautiful face to his memory. She scrunches her nose again and he smiles, knowing he would not as much as blink tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

Jane's eyes flutter open to Thor smiling at her. That is some sight to wake up to!

"Good morning," he strokes her cheek, retreating his hand rather abruptly.

"Morning." She offers a lopsided smile. "Did you even sleep?"

"Yes." He lies. "Not much, but yes."

"You alright?" She asks, fully awake now, previous night returning to her. He nods in response. She gives a small smile, believing him. Then sits up to stretch. Sleeping on the floor isn't that bad - they should do it more often. It's supposed to be good for the back as well. She tilts her head a little, to look out the balcony. Looks like it rained all night.

"Jane?"

She turns to look at Thor. He has sat up, resting his elbow on the bed. She feels a little intimidated at how intently he's looking at her, his scary actions of last night coming to her mind.

"About what happened..." He starts in a grim tone, making her tense up some more. "I was thinking of going to Asgard, maybe look for answers there."

"Oh." She says, relieved. "Yeah, good call."

"It may be a while." He searches her face.

"Yeah, I figured that." She shrugs. "I'm used to waiting for you now."

She might not have meant it as a joke, just fact, but she did say it in a lighthearted tone. Which is why his response surprises her. He keeps staring at her guiltily.

"What?" She asks, but it doesn't take long for her put two and two together. "Wait, how long are you planning to-- you're not going away, are you?"

He swallows. "Maybe that is for the best."

"What?" Her eyes widen in disbelief. This cannot be! "You're not... You're really--"

"Jane, just hear me o--"

"No, seriously!" She cuts him off, anger taking over. "Are you actually telling me that you are leaving me? Again?"

Maybe this was his idea of a joke. She can tell him later that this was a very poor idea for a joke. But right now, she just wants him to say he doesn't mean any of this. He cannot do this to her!

"It's the only way to protect you..." He says with a weak voice.

She backs away. "I don't get you. Did you just decide this overnight that you're bored and want out now? Is that it?"

He closes his eyes at her offensive accusation. "Jane?"

She immediately gets up to leave the room. She needs air.

"Jane, listen to me." Thor gets up as well, following her as she makes her way to the door. "All this is too dangerous for you. I don't want t--"

"Oh shut up!" She turns around. "That doesn't mean you can just leave me like this." Taking a step forward, she looks him in the eyes. "Who the hell are you to make this decision for my life? Fuck you!"

"Did you not see what happened here last night?" He is exasperated and desperate, but still doesn't raise his voice. "It could have been so much worse. Why are you not seeing the obvious?"

"And this is your bullshit solution to it? Running away like cowards?"

Something shifts in him at that and he grabs her by the arm. "Where is your bravery getting us?" He asks through gritted teeth. "Will your death be proof enough?"

She is speechless against the enraged look in his eyes and his crushing grip on her arm. She can only look at him helplessly with tears in her eyes. An escaped whimper from her does seem to bring him to his senses, but he still releases her arm with a violent jerk, anger persistent on his face.

She immediately gets ahold of her arm with her other hand, taking a ragged breath. Then slowly shakes her head, staring at him, tears falling freely now. "I hate you!" She whispers, and not bothering for his reaction, retreats her steps and leaves the room.

She stops at the kitchen counter with shaking hands, tear-stained face and throbbing pain in her left arm. What now? What does she do? What will he do? She shuts her eyes, trying to calm herself.

She turns around in surprise at the sound of boots clicking. Thor walks out in full armor - cape and járngreipr and all - hammer in his hand, and walks out to the balcony. He starts swinging the hammer as he gets there and just like that - he flies away!

Jane stares towards the empty balcony, completely speechless. Did he just-- did he just leave? Just like that? He just-- he left?

She stumbles back, supporting herself on the counter, fresh tears welling up in her eyes. She sits back on one of the stools, putting a hand to her mouth and starts crying.

 

*

 

Late in the night, Jane lies in her bed, hugging a pillow and silently sobbing into it. She feels drained. Numb. Lost.

She feels like she is going insane. Her mind is racing with too many thoughts! The foremost being that Thor Odinson is gone. He is gone! He left-- abandoned her.

He had been stressed about the visions in his dreams for quite some time now. She can't feel them for him, or share his pain. But she couldn't miss how scarier they got over time. And with them, so did he.

Despite his efforts to keep her away from his troubles, he just couldn't help his anger and frustrations at times. She, however, endured all his erratic outbursts without complaint. It was okay, he was stressed - she'd reason with herself. If anything, she tried helping. But he never told her what the visions were - just snippets here and there - probably to give just enough to shut her up.

She tolerated a lot. She was willing to excuse all the physical hurt he caused her as well. _Even_ the last one. Because again, he must've lost himself. But this - storming out without a word - this she can't. He didn't have the guts to face the problem, so he just left? She wasn't even worth an explanation to him...

She doesn't even know where he went, where he is right now, if he is _ever_ coming back. Maybe he's already in Asgard by now. Maybe he went to the Avengers like he was supposed to. He may come to the celebration they were supposed to attend together day after tomorrow. Maybe he'll leave for Asgard after he's done with the Avengers (they might be more important to him than her). She doesn't know!

She'd given thought to calling someone there to inquire if he's with them. But she doesn't want to raise suspicion. Though she would not have needed to ask anyone at all had he had a phone like normal people.

'Normal'... she scoffs at the thought. Nothing is normal about him or their relationship. For starters, they've never been on dates or exchanged cute gifts like normal people do. He's never said 'I love you' to her. Hell, he never even calls her his girlfriend. "My friend Jane," he'd say. Guess he sleeps with all his friends.

Her rational self reminds her that him leaving his princely life of riches _for her_ should be bigger than saying 3 words or going on artificial dates. His love for her shows in everything him. The way he looks at her, the sweetness with which he talks to her, the revereor with which he talks about her, the unbelievable softness with which he touches or holds her (given the kind of strength he possess - it never ceases to amaze her). His love for her transcends every action of his and doesn't need fake stamps of approval created by her society.

(And it's not like he doesn't try. God, she knows he does. Like asking her if she would like to go on a 'road trip' with him when he saw how giddy she got upon seeing it in a movie.)

She had accepted that it's the way he is. And forbade herself from wishing anything - choosing to believe what he never said.

But unlike him, she is human. Those societal standards are ingrained in her. And the fact that he never expresses his feelings means a lot more than it should right now, when she lies in their bed alone - her arm stinging and his look of absolute rage burning her tear-filled eyes. These are the testimonials of the hurt he's caused her, and there are none of his love.

Jane places her hand on the empty cold space of the bed in front of her. There had been nights of lying by his side, stroking his beard and staring at his face - while he was blissfully asleep - when her promises to herself fell apart. She would, for a few helpless moments, dare to wish for all that she didn't allow herself to.

Marriage, children, a normal life with him... cliched, she knows. But he's right here! So what he never asked her, she can ask him. How do they get married in his realm? She doesn't want to be the Queen. She only wants to be his.

It's so hard to not fall into this trap of wishing more than she should when he is right in front of her. She can touch him, feel him. He really is here. She is not imagining or dreaming this. Her Thor left everything in the world to be here with her... They might as well be in his bed in Asgard, with his hand on her stomach, feeling their baby kick for the first time...

His hand, not on her stomach, but her arm - the memory of this morning, his terrifying demeanor - jolt her back to reality. Jane buries her face in the tear-soaked pillow. What is she doing! She is making this harder for herself.

Her shaking hand reaches for her phone, to see the time, and distract herself for a second or two. Maybe, just maybe, he had the foresight of texting her through someone's phone to let her know of his whereabouts so she doesn't kill herself over his abandonment. But she is startled again when the screensaver of the night skies unlocks to reveal the wallpaper of a picture of him and her together.

It's a picture she took - her head resting in the crook of his neck and grinning into the camera, him with a blushing smile, one eye winked close on its own and the other barely open. She had never been the one to put glamorous selfies as phone wallpapers. She doesn't change the ringtone even. But this picture was too adorable that she couldn't resist.

Of the snaps this was a part of, one had her kissing him on the cheek - it was too personal to be kept as the wallpaper. One - rather candid - caught him smiling at her instead of looking into the camera - she'd never even shown him that, kept it just for herself.

They took quite a few pictures that day - the first time they ever took some. She'd sheepishly asked him if he would "take a picture" with her. His response had been enthusiastic, even though he wasn't sure about "posing". He did absolutely fine, needless to say. Though she could tell it wasn't something he would ever ask to do himself, and did only because she wanted to.

And she cherished it so much! That was something so easy and normal. For a few moments, she forgot that he is an alien Prince in whose world she has no place. In those few precious moments, he was just a regular person clicking snaps with his girlfriend...

And now, the wallpaper and his beautiful smile blur in her vision with tears. Jane sits upright. She needs to put her mind to some sleep or she'll go insane. Now seems to be the perfect time to try out the Asgardian liquor he'd bought and specifically asked her to not try. She frantically reaches for the drawer on the bedside - taking out some sleeping pills. Two should be fine.

Jane pops four pills into her mouth, chugging some water afterward, and throws herself on the bed, desperately shutting her eyes close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that did not go how he'd planned, at all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That Space Center is supposed to be 49 years old this year. And the story is set sometime before Avengers2 (2015). So let's just pretend this is all fictional and celebrate their 50th anniversary.

Jane sits at the 50th-anniversary celebration of the German Aerospace Center in Cologne. She had lead 2 space research projects here and also worked with them during her Ph.D. Naturally, she was honored by their invitation, though she had almost given it a miss. She was just too mentally and physically exhausted to do anything, let alone attend a social event.

But then she decided otherwise. And she's glad she did. This does seem to be a happy distraction like she'd hoped - mostly because it really is a party with scientists and researchers simply chatting over wine - something they all don't get to enjoy very often. The venue is also closer to downtown, near the Rhine river, creating a peaceful ambiance all around.

Jane was supposed to wear a white sleeveless dress for this, was admittedly excited about it as well, but had to resort to a black one with three fourth sleeves to cover up the haunting bruises on her left arm. She indulges in her colleagues' talks now and then, but right from the moment she entered, her eyes kept wandering around the enormous hall.

What if he's come?

Thor has no reason to be here if he has already made intergalactic plans. But they were supposed to attend this together. Maybe he'd come by. Maybe.

Her friends do call her out on looking distant and one even asks about her 'partner'. She simply says he is busy. Saying he hurt and abandoned her doesn't seem like a fit response. As her eyes look around the room, all she sees is people enjoying themselves with their friends and family. The wedding band on one of her friend's finger seems to shine too much in her eyes.

She abruptly looks down and checks the time. It's been over an hour since the party started. If he really was coming, he'd be here by now. Jane purses her lips and excuses herself from the gathering, to go to the outside lawn for some air.

She slowly walks towards it, looking like a lost child. Her eyes are still searching for someone who really isn't hard to miss in a gathering like this - losing hope every passing second. This was his last chance... how can he be so heartless?

She blinks and wipes a tear in her eye with her finger - thank god for makeup! She remembers the numerous times they have been to events where he promised to join her later, always surprising her by coming up from behind and saying--

"Looking for someone?"

Jane stops upon hearing the familiar words and the familiar voice. Her heartbeat rising, she turns around to find Thor standing there, hands in the pocket of his black coat pants and a faint smile on his lips.

And he looks miserable! Red eyes, dark circles underneath, heavier beard, coat unbuttoned - no tie, no belt! He definitely is here, she isn't imagining this. Because she cannot imagine him looking this disheveled.

He, however, is awed - his eyes widening a little at the sight of her. "You look beautiful." He says, as if seeing her for the first time, making her conscious of her deep neckline and deeper back.

"You look like you need sleep." She blurts out before she can stop herself. She must've thought of a hundred things to say to him in the past two days - this was not one of them. And as it is, quite a mean thing to say as well. But she isn't heartless like him, and immediately tries to correct her error. "Oh-- sorry I didn't mean to--"

"Honesty is always preferable to glib pleasantries." He smiles. Jane stops mid-sentence, surprised. Alright, if that's what he wanted to hear.

And they both stand there with a heavy silence between them. He looks around, then at her as if about to say something, then stops thinking she might. She does exactly the same.

Now that he really is here, there is so much she wants to shout at him she doesn't know where to start. Good tactic from him though, approaching her in public - she can't slap him now. That's definitely what she would have started with. Though he looks like he tortured himself well enough! Good, he deserves it.

She can simply start berating him over the long list of felonies he has committed in these few days, but she stays quiet. He always has to 'decide' everything for them - let him direct this as well. And it certainly is soothing to see him look this guilty and at a loss for words. He must have thought that all he needed was to approach her, and she would fall in the cycle of shouting complaints at him which he will justify with excuses and there, problem solved.

He is not getting that out of her. She looks around, then at him with a mocking look of anticipation. Seeing that she won't budge, he relents.

"Uh, c-- can we talk?" He asks nervously, and the helplessness is his voice is disheartening!  
"I'd love that." She tries to smile, then chastises herself for feeling pity for him. He abandoned her, dammit!

He smiles in relief, as if he truly believed she would deny. "Outside?"

She nods and he hesitantly offers her his arm like a gentleman. Seeing him get closer only brings the memories of his assault to her mind. And she certainly wants to slap his arm away as well, but tentatively holds onto it instead. She can't embarrass him in public.

They slowly walk towards the lawn, which isn't far. She takes this opportunity to take a closer look at him. He didn't just do away with the tie and belt, the first three buttons of his white shirt are open as well - providing a peek at his chest - which is not entirely a bad thing per se. He does have his hair tied back, but even that is messy. Even though it's strangely attractive, this scruffy look is so unlike him.

Should she ask him where he has been? Does she want to know? Even if he did go elsewhere, he must have still shown up at the Avengers - otherwise someone would have checked up with her for sure.

She notices him side eye a waiter carrying wine. Realising she would have seen him, he looks down at her and smiles again. Surprisingly, the waiter side-eyes him as well. Jane rolls her eyes. He must have emptied that poor guy's entire tray before coming up to her, even though Midgardian booze doesn't do anything for him - that's Thor alright. He's only looking different.

There aren't many people in the lawn. And as soon as they step outside the hall and into it, he steps in front of her - making her step to the side of the door - and towers over her.

"I'm sorry." He says. "I am truly sorry for everything I did. It was just terrible - and I apologise."

Jane blinks. That was fast. "Wow, good talk."

"No really, I--" He starts again but stops when someone from behind her calls her name. She turns to see Professor Bernard approaching her from the hall. Lovely old man, helped her during her Ph.D. - she greets him as well.

She sneaks a glance at Thor while indulging with Bernard. He does look disappointed to have been interrupted, as he shifts restlessly. Probably regretting not waiting until they were well inside the lawn before pitching his apology, as he looks around for a more undisturbed space. He doesn't seem to mind that Bernard didn't regard him at all.

Bernard surely does, as he asks about the "young man" once he realises he is with Jane. She simply refers to him as her "friend" as opposed to the usual 'partner'. Thor surely picks up on it, but doesn't mind.

As soon as she takes her professor's leave, he points towards the corner. "Seems more secluded." He says and takes her hand in his. But then says "oh" and instantly drops it, angrily pursing his lips, like he's mad at himself for... holding her hand?

"Shall we?" He asks, regaining his composure. She slowly nods, dazed. Is he okay? He needs sleep. He's scaring her now.

As they reach their desired spot, she speaks before he can resume his apology. "I'm sorry too, Thor."

"My actions were truly abhorrent." He says as if he didn't even hear her. "And I need to apologise to you for..."

He stops, then adds with some thought, as if to not miss the order, "what I did in my sleep, for shouting on you, making that decision _and_ springing it on you that way..."

Jane's eyes widen. Is he literally listing his sins? She suppresses a smile, this is fun!

He guiltily gestures towards her arm, "hurting you, and then leaving the way I did."

"Yeah, how could you do that?" Jane speaks up, his brutal abandonment coming back to her. "Do you have any idea what these two days were like for me? Shit hits the fan, and you leave?"

She consciously holds back from saying more, reminding herself that labeling him a 'coward' was what had set him off the last time. That she has just stopped short of calling him out isn't lost on him either.

"To prevent myself from doing anything foolish that I surely would have had I stayed any longer." He looks down.

She raises her hands in befuddlement. "By doing something else that was equally stupid?"

Thor lowers his head. Not his brightest moment, for sure. Jane shakes her head. Then it hits her. "Wait, what did you mean by that?" She steps back. "You wouldn't have hurt me, right?"

Instead of answering, he looks behind her. She turns around to see another colleague of hers, Cate, approaching with her little daughter. She can't put her finger on it, but Thor almost looked relieved for this interruption. And both Cate and Cara were still far away for it be considered one anyway. Maybe she's thinking too much.

She turns their way to greet them. Cate had told her that her daughter wished to meet her. Cara is all giggles too. Any other day, Thor would have been on his knees and all smiles with children like her. But today - understandably - he simply hangs back, waiting for their meet and greet to be over with.

She looks at him and is surprised to find him smiling sweetly at Cara, then making adorable faces at her as she giggles some more. Even in his exhausted state, he just cannot resist children!

"Let us get out of here." He says - a little desperately - once she takes their leave. Then bites his tongue. "That is, if you want?"

Again with the holding back, what even is he... Oh! So her accusation of him 'deciding' for her - punctuated with swear words - actually got to him. But didn't he apologise for it in his listed apology? Still, this is not how she wants him amending it. She only meant that about life-changing decisions like abandoning her without a word. Not his adorable acts of possessiveness like these. He knows she loves them. Then why this?

"Okay." She finally answers, a little annoyed.

They begin to walk towards the large lonely sidewalk along the river just outside the lawn. She gets closer to him and takes his hand in hers. He looks at her in surprise, then smiles a little, lightly squeezing her hand.

He runs his free hand over his coat, as if wanting to take it off, but then retreats it back in his pocket. It reminds her of how in every event they go to together, they always sneak out once she is done with her formalities to take walks around the premises. He would take his coat off and she would fold it and hang it down her forearm, crossing both arms below her chest. And they would simply walk together in peace.

"Just so you know," Jane clears her throat. "I really appreciate you admitting everything. And I need to apologise as well."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do." She asserts. She should list out her faults too. She did say a lot of mean things to him after all. Especially the last one. "I'm sorry... for being so utterly unreasonable--"

"You weren't being unreasonable." He cuts her off, and gestures to the concrete fencing at the riverside of the sidewalk. "Here we are." He says, when they aren't even there yet. To prevent her from apologising, she knows!

The fencing is at appropriate height. Wide and comfortable enough to sit as well. She looks up at him. Any other day he would've just picked her up and made her sit there. But today, he looks at her expectantly. "Would you like to...?"

"Would you stop doing that?" She chides.

Thor feigns surprise. "Asking is an issue, not asking is an issue." He picks her up by the waist and helps her sit at the fence. "Which one is it with you?"

"You know!" She says while bracing her arms on his shoulders. She can tell he is hiding genuine anger there and the realisation makes her heart sink. More so that she is face to face with him now. Jane nervously irons out her knee-length dress with her hands, and he puts his hands back in his pockets, taking a deep breath.

"Well," he calms down, "with the apologies out of the way, our problem still stands." Thor is still looking somewhere behind her. Jane looks at him expectantly.

"And it appears we're at a stalemate, Miss Foster." He meets her eyes at last with his bloodshot ones. "My association with you will continue to doom you with mortal dangers at every turn. And you will continue to inexplicably not hold me blameworthy for it."

Jane doesn't know what to say. Something tells her he doesn't expect her to as well. He's thought all this through. This is what he was doing these two days.

Thor joins both his hands together in front of his chest, still holding her gaze. "So, I offer you a compromise."

Jane blinks.

"Let us just not be seen together." He shrugs.

"What?"

"I'm not leaving." He steps forward, closing in the distance between them with his stomach touching her knees. "Nothing is changing. All I'm asking for is to not be seen together - out, in the 'public eye'." He says the foreign phrase with care.

Jane narrows her eyes. If he means what she understands he means...

"So when I go for things like these..." She points to the celebration happening behind him, unsure.

"You go alone." He carefully places both his hands on the fence on either side of her knees before adding, "I can accompany you in disguise it that's--"

"No, no, no." That's not her concern - at least not the first one. "What am I gonna say when I'm inevitably asked abt you? 'Why aren't you with me'?" She air quotes the annoying question.

"That you don't know where I am." Thor shrugs again. "You haven't seen me in a long time. How I'm always away and you're sick of being asked about me all the time."

"Or maybe I dumped your sorry ass." Jane smirks. He backs away a little in surprise. Then smiles - in a 'touche' sort of way, but doesn't speak or nod in agreement. She'll see about that later.

Jane sighs. "On one hand, we can't go anywhere - anywhere at all - together. And I'd hate that. On the other, safety and bla bla!" She rolls her eyes.

Thor imitates a justice vector with both his hands. And he is right - pros and cons! Jane looks down, she needs to think about this.

He softly places his hands on her knees. "I know I'm asking too much, Love. And I don't want to do it either. But this would give me at least some assurance."

She raises her head to look into his pleading red eyes. He very carefully touches her arm - that arm.

"At least consider this? I'm begging you, Jane."

Jane closes her eyes. She hates it when he uses that word. He never has to 'beg' for anything from her.

"I know this doesn't bother you much. But it does to me..." His voice cracks. "You are brave and valiant. And I am not. If anything happens to you because of me, I'd never forgive m--"

Jane covers his mouth with her fingers.

"Alright, that's enough." She breathes, then adds. "This is all too much to take in at once. But we'll think about this, okay?"

His lips curl up in a smile under her fingers.

"Think this all through... happy?" She allows herself a little smile as well. She moves her fingers to his cheek and replaces them with her thumb on his lower lip.

"Thank you." He says sincerely, one hand already on her thigh while placing the other on her head as he often does. Now, this would be the time to go in for a sweet make-up smooch and she certainly wants to kiss the hell out of him. So why is he not leaning in?

"Oh," he retreats both hands back to his coat, reminded of something. She takes her hand back too, a little confused. He searches the inner pocket of his coat, "and to complete the apology."

Thor - rather timidly - presents in front of her a beautiful red rose. "For you."

"Oh my god!" She gasps. Did he really... she takes the rose in her hand, looking at it as if she has not seen a flower before in her life. "That is so sweet!"

She looks up, feeling emotional all of sudden. He looks a bit surprised to see her watering eyes. It was just a flower, he'd think. But he doesn't how much this gesture from him means to her.

"C'mere." She pulls him in for the kiss they'd both been waiting for. She kisses him hungrily, desperately. He does as well, stepping in between her legs as she spreads them for him, his arms hugging her waist.

Even as they break away, they stay close. Jane slowly rubs her hand on his cheek, appreciating the heavier beard. Thor runs his fingers through her hair, searching her eyes. Then leans in again. She giggles at his urgency. That wasn't enough for him.

He deepens the kiss and pulls her in even closer. She lets him have his contentment, running her free hand down his exposed chest with the one holding the rose braced on his shoulder. He lets go once he is truly satisfied, and both rest their foreheads together, trying to catch their breath. A distant cheer from the hall makes him turn his head a little to look behind.

"Wanna go back in," Jane smirks, then points to the sidewalk, "or our usual?" His knowing smile answers her. She tugs at his coat, reminding him of their little ritual. Thor smiles again and lets her slide it off his shoulders. Then helps her down the fence. And both walk to the opposite direction of the celebration hall.

Jane folds his coat and looks his way. He is looking up the moonless night sky, sleeves up, hands in pocket - like always. Like he never went away. Two days ago, she thought she'd never get to see him again. But here he is. As always, fighting to be with her against all odds. Choosing to be with her when everything tells him otherwise.

And yet she fears of losing him. Jane shakes her head and looks at the rose in her hand... She needs to get over her paranoia. She should be helping him by relieving him of worries from her side, not add to his misery. That's the least she can do. She dearly hopes her agreement of keeping their relationship hidden would do it. He can focus on other things if he is free of her petty insecurities.

But right now, all she wishes is for him to get some shut-eye. He looks so exhausted! Ever since those insidious dreams started, she has never actually seen him sleep. He always lies he did. But she knows. And this is a very long time to go without sleep - even for him.

What's amazing is how even right now - when he is so dead tired he could drop on the floor this very second - she can see the gears in his head turning. He's thinking of his next step now that issues with her are resolved. Jane shakes her head again. Her hotel is right around the corner and he is so getting some sleep tonight - she'll make sure of it.

She will tug at his arm at the next turn, telling him to call it a night. He will remind her that this may be the last time they'll get to walk like this. But she'll insist on the hotel. As soon as they'll get there, he would drop on the bed, but still ask her what she wants to do. She'll peel off her dress and put on the shirt he's wearing right now. And then she would sit on the bed, asking him to rest his head in her lap. He'll comply - hesitantly, but hopefully - lying face down in there and hugging her firm.

She can only hope the comfort of her warmth will put him to the much-needed rest. Knowing him and how all of his concerns revolve around her safety than anything about himself - it's safe to say he'll fall asleep before she can finish her first sentence.

Jane grins to herself, satisfied with her planning. Still, she cannot resist saying what she does next - mostly to see his amusement of Midgardian slangs, more so to get his mind off his agonising thoughts.

"You know we missed out on some godly hate sex!" She winks at him. "Pun intended."

"What?"

"We still got make-up sex though!"

"Are you just making these up?"

"Still, to imagine steamy hate sex with you! Wow!"

"If you 'hate' someone, why would you..." Thor speaks as they walk in the distance. "And why have you these childish names anyway, it's all the same..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just saying - it could have gone like this. Instead of the shitshow that was Thor3.


End file.
